I have a place for my emotion. It’s a tidy little space, and for the most part it all fits quite nicely in there.
Except for anxiety … that prickly stuff doesn’t fit anywhere.
This last week it was getting the best of me. I’d lie awake with my thoughts circling my mind like they were suspended on a marquee. The possibility of a new job seemed to have sparked this unwelcome feeling of unease. Then there is all the silly stuff too, insignificant things that shouldn’t share my pillow. My anxiousness didn’t just occupy my mind it extended to the tips of my fingers and rose to the top of my chest. I couldn’t seem to tuck it away, so I’d bring it with me into my day.
One such day ~ I had a meeting scheduled with my pastor. I hadn’t even sat down across from her before she invited me to speak at this year’s Christmas Tea. What an incredible honor. Then, just a couple of hours later, I received a phone call in which I was offered that new job-the one that had consumed my 2:00 am thoughts. Holy buckets, I felt immensely blessed! But for heaven sakes, there was no place to put all this emotion now.
Before bed that night I knelt under the picture window in the front room of my home. I thanked God for these new opportunities.
The next morning with my coffee in hand, and my kids still tucked in bed, I scrolled through my Facebook feed. I held my breath as I read the post of a fellow “heart mom”. Her nine year-old daughter was just wheeled back into the operating room for her fifth heart surgery, and with that, all my pent up stuff, all the nonsense worry, it found its release. It poured from my eyes, streaming down my cheeks.
I found her CaringBridge page where her dad shared his raw emotion across the page. He talked about the brutality in watching his little girl suffer. He ended his post with, “If you pray, please do so. Ask for steady hands, sharp minds and peaceful hearts.”
Steady hands, sharp minds and peaceful hearts. His words stayed with me in the most profound way-far beyond his intention for her medical team.
The next couple of days each time I prayed for these things I thought about how his requests, especially for a peaceful heart, transcends all that challenges us.
The next time I’m up at 2:00 am, I’m going to do my best to put his words on my mind’s marquee. Steady Hands, Sharp Minds and Peaceful Hearts. It’s sure to be a prettier display.
Mindy Lynn is the Author of Embracing Charlie. Embracing Charlie was honored as a Finalist in the Christian Inspirational Category of the 2014 USA Best Book Awards. Consider Subscribing to Mindy’s Blog Via email-ensuring you won’t miss a post.